EggFooYou
by Reinbeauchaser
Summary: Mix eggs and momentum with a little bit of Mikey and what do you get?  Mikey running for his life, that's what.  Mike and Raph centric, with Don and Leo observing at a safe distance away.  Splinter's meditating, so he  misses all the fun.  Poor rattie. :o


**Disclaimer - Nope, other than the eggs, the broom, the dinner plate, and drinking glasses, the I own nada. **

**Egg-Foo-You **

_Inspired by a Dom Deluise skit featured on the Johnny Carson show yeeeears ago _

_and merged with a comment my husband made at dinnertime last evening. _

Mike came bouncing out of his room, his television blaring behind him, _This is SO gonna be good!_ and then loudly announced to all who would listen - which meant anyone within hearing range, "Guys! I've got a new trick. It's sooo great, it doesn't cost a cent, and comes with a money-back guarantee!"

A second later, Raph poked his head from his room, bleary-eyed and obviously in need of nappy time, "Shut up, Mike, I'm tryin' t'sleep and would ya keep yer television turned down!"

Mike, a huge smile on his beak, insisted, "But it's such a great trick, Raph! Ya have to see it work!" and he grabbed his brother's arm, pulling him further from his room.

"Hey, no touchee before noonie." Raph growled and then shrugged from his brother's grasp, "'Sides, no idea is great if yer the one thinkin' it."

"Ah, oh brother o'mine, I have to disagree." Mike replied haughtily, one finger pointed upwards in exclamation, "this one is pure genius."

"Isn't that Donnie's department?" Raph yawned and scratched his side.

"Hey, there's room for one more!"

Raph's interest piqued just a little and his eyes brightened just a tad, "Prove it!"

"I will! Just follow me!" and if Mike had any, he would have grinned from ear to ear.

As Mike led the way down the hall towards the living room, Raph looked back towards his bedroom, a longing expression on his face. However, he knew that Mike wouldn't rest until he saw what his hair-brained scheme was all about. Reluctantly, Raphael turned and followed his orange-wearing brother, grumbling on about needing a few more 'Z's', yawning and scratching as he went. Before long, he found himself with Mike in the kitchen where Leo and Don sat around the table. He noticed that Don was drinking his typical mug of coffee, while Leo nursed a steaming cup of tea. Each of them looked up when they saw Raph and Mike walk in.

Raph quickly took a seat, thankful to have something to support him besides his own legs.

"S'what's up?" Leo asked, taking a sip of tea.

Raph replied tiredly, giving a half smile, "Mike thinks he has an idea."

"Oh, really?" Don grinned, setting his coffee cup down and leaned back. Folding his arms behind his head and lacing his fingers together, "this I have to see."

"You will, Don O Tello," Mike cheered and went over to the refrigerator.

As Raphael lay his head down sideways on the table and yawned big, Leo smiled, and tapped the tabletop, "Hey Raph, might want to write it down on the calendar, so we can remember this day in history."

"Oh hardee har har," Mike stuck his tongue out at his brother in blue as Raph and Don laughed.

Leo smiled wider.

"Yeah, maybe make it a National holiday, or somethin," Raph added slowly and sat up again, receiving grinning nods from both Don and Leo. Raph grinned in response but then yawned once more.

"Not getting your beauty sleep, I take it?"

"Shuddup, Leo."

"If you didn't stay out so la…"

"ShudUP Leo!"

Leo smiled and then turned to address Mike, "Mikey, you need to lay off these ideas of yours, they always seem to backfire!"

"You guys are so negative, you know that?" Mike shook his head and then pointed a finger at all three of them, "Oh ye of little faith." He then pointed to himself this time, "I have good ideas… every now and then."

"Well," Raph asked as he leaned back, balancing his chair on its rear legs, "Show me th' money, start talking, 'for I fall asleep here."

"Can't show you the money since it doesn't cost anything, but I do need a few ingredients!" As Mike opened the refrigerator, he reached in and took out four eggs, and placed them on the table. He then went over to one of the cupboards and proceeded to take out a single, large dinner plate and then four small juice glasses that he balanced on the plate. Walking over to the broom closet, he next grabbed the broom.

As he watched his baby brother collect the last item, Don leaned in and whispered to Leo, "I'm getting a bad feeling about this."

"Me, too," Leo concurred, a bit more serious than he was before, and stood up. Don joined him. Raph was in the middle of a big yawn, so he missed both the comments and his brothers leaving the table.

As Don and Leo moved towards the kitchen door, Mike worked his way around the kitchen, effectively distracting a tired Raphael, who still managed to continue with his jabbing repartee.

"Oh, I see, so you're going to scramble eggs using a broom and then cook them in little glasses?" Raph sniggered, a little, as he watched his brother set up his equipment.

"Nope." Mike the sat the glasses right side up on the table across from Raph, positioning them until they formed a perfect square. Then, Mike placed the plate on top of the glasses. Next, he positioned an egg on top of the plate, and dead center to one of the glasses underneath, and repeated it three more times around the plate until there was an egg for each glass. As he studied his creation, Mikey paused, a frown suddenly forming on his snout.

"Sheesh, Mike, you nervous or somethin?" Raph chided and rubbed his arm absentmindedly.

"Um, no…" Mike replied, scratching his head as he muttered, "But, I seem to be missing something, only…I don't know what it is."

"Hey, if it's a money-back guarantee," Raph remarked as he brought his chair to rest on all four legs, again, and placed his elbows on the table, supporting his chin in fisted hand. "then what's t'worry?"

Mike's eyes brightened, "Yeah, you're right, Raph."

As Mike brought the broom up against the table, the upper end of the stick resting next to the plate, the turtle in orange gently tapped the plate with the handle. The eggs wobbled a little, but didn't roll from their position. Then, Mike stepped on the straw end of the broom, bending the bristles as he pulled the handle back.

Leo and Don stepped further away, eyes growing wide.

"I think it is definitely going to be hilarious!" Don whispered and Leo smiled.

With much flourish and using a deep, announcer-type voice, Mike declared as he looked at all three siblings, "Now, all of you are going to be amazed with this incredible trick, it's just hilarious what's going to happen, you won't believe your eyes!"

"Can count on that one!" Leo murmured and this time Don smiled.

Suddenly, Mike released the broom handle.

It all happened so fast, it was hard to tell what hit him first. Nevertheless, the moment the handle smacked against the edge of the plate, the force of impact shot the plate and all four eggs towards a rather unsuspecting Raphael, who was too tired, and too surprised, to get out of the way in time.

Instantly, Don and Leo erupted into a fit of laughter.

Dripping with raw eggs and pieces of shell, and now fully awake, Raphael's eyes grew dangerously wide as he slowly stood from his chair, "WHAT IN SHELL WERE YOU TRYING T'DO, MIKE!"

Mike, just as surprised as his brother was, half-turned towards the kitchen doorway. With a voice small and panicky sounding, "The eggs…were supposed to drop in…in…the juice glasses?"

"Earth to **MIKE**…THEY _**MISSED**_!" growled the red-banded turtle, trying to wipe the majority of yolk and egg whites from his face.

"Well, it worked for Mr. Dom DeLuis on the Johnny Carson Show!" Mike squeaked and slowly edged towards the kitchen's threshold.

"Mike," Don quickly explained, stepping to one side, with Leo doing the same, "Mr. DeLuis used empty toilet paper rolls to support the eggs. They're supposed to take the brunt of the hit, so that between gravity and the eggs' mass, they'll drop into the cups. That's what you forgot to do; you had to suspend the eggs somehow."

But Mike heard little of what his brainiac brother tried to say, because Raph was already in a dead run and Mike had yet to leave the kitchen…but not for long. In a flash, he was out the door, screaming, and running towards his room like the devil behind him, which was more true than not, and who was closer than Mike would have liked.

As Raphael raced after him, with raw eggs and pieces of shell flying in every direction, he hollered, "I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"

Mike yelled over his shoulder, his voice pitched to girly status, "YOU CAN'T GET ANY MONEY BACK IF IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING!"

"I'm going t'get **SOMETHING** back, **MIKE**, even if its yer **SHELL**!" Raphael roared and Mike screamed louder.

As Raph chased Mike through the lair, Don remarked quietly, "Considering he pretty much conned Raph to sit there the whole time, Mike might actually be smarter than we give him credit for."

Leo added, "Either that, or Raph's not as smart as we give _him_ credit for."

"Good point."


End file.
